I’ve decided to share with you the first fantasy fiction I ever wrote, which I did as part of an English exam, on the 4th of May, 2005.
Bear in mind, I was 16 at the time, I’m not a native English speaker, and I interpreted the task in a somewhat “wrong” way. I think I was meant to base my story on or interpret a painting by Salvador Dali, called Persistence of Time.
Also, if you know me personally, and if you know your fantasy fiction, you might find some cheesy easter eggs hidden in the names of places and people.
Anyway, here it is, with no alteration whatsoever, (except the odd typo) complete with redundant and ridiculous phrasing. (there is a  John Freeman element to the way I wrote this short story, but it was hurled together last minute.

The Lake in the Desert

John was only 15 years old when he accidentally discovered another world in a parallel universe. This is his story.
“What is this place?” John said to himself. He had been walking for two hours in this strange ‘desert’. Walking since he had come out of the lake.
He had no clue as to where he was or exactly how he had got there, but he was determined to find help.
The strange thing about this ‘desert’ was that it wasn’t hot, in fact; it was actually quite chill. Not that he was cold or anything, he had enough clothes.
It was getting dark when John heard a galloping horse behind him. He turned around and saw a man with a medieval looking armour, riding a black horse. The man on the horse slowed down to a halt, and spoke: “Who are you, and what is your business in these lands?” John was too terrified to answer. “Speak, stranger, or you shall taste steel!” said the man, drawing his sword.”M-m-my name is John,” said John. “And I’m lost.”
“Very well, John,” said the horseman, sheathing his sword. “If I can, I shall help you. For I am Algirk, son of Thalbirk, royal knight of the kingdom of Ekirdron. But where is your homeland? I take it you are not from here,” said Algirk. “That’s right. I’m from Michigan, but I don’t know how to get there from here,” said John. “Hmm… I have not heard of this place. Maybe we should find shelter for the night, and you can tell me how you came here,” said Algirk. Algirk helped John up on his horse, and they set off for the town of Neggesyl. When they arrived, they found an inn, and since John had no money, Algirk paid for the rooms.

Next morning, during breakfast, John explained how he had run away from home in Michigan, and how he had fallen into a lake, and was sucked down: “And I couldn’t get to the surface, but suddenly, I was loose again and I swam to the surface. But I came up from that lake in the desert.” “Strange, ” said Algirk. “But stranger things have happened in these lands. I know a wise wizard, who lives two days’ ride north of here. Garion is his name, and he will know what to do.”

They went to get some food and clothes, before setting off to Garion’s.

Two days later, they arrived at the wizard’s house. He welcomed them, and made some tea while John and Algirk told him what had happened. “The logical choice would be to go back through the lake, but…” Garion was interrupted by John: “What are we waiting for, then? Let’s go!” “As I was saying when you interrupted me; that would be the logical choice, but I am afraid it is impossible. I know, for I have tried it myself.” “That’s just great! How will I get home now?” said John, angered. “There is a cave. A cave with strange runes carved around its entrance: Paros visstu Mor-Tarri.”

“Do you know what it means?” John asked. “Yes, it means: ‘to visit Shadow-World.’ It could be ‘Greed-World’ for the runes for shadow and greed are one and the same. Anyway. This is the entrance to your world.” said Garion. “Are you sure?” asked John. “I have seen it myself. I came up from a lake, and on my left, I saw another. The other lake leads to the one in the desert, outside Neggesyl.” “Well, then. What are we waiting for? Let us get this young lad home to his family!” said Algirk. Garion showed them the way to the cave entrance, and John said goodbye: “I’ll come back and visit you from time to time, if that’s all right with you guys?”
“Of course,” said Garion. “You are always welcome here.” Algirk said: “I shall look forward to seeing you again, John.” John stepped into the cave and vanished from sight. John soon realised that he was back in the lake, swimming toward the surface. He ran home to his parents, who were worried sick.
John never told anyone, except for his wife and children, about the parallel world he had visited, and the friends he had made there.

I really don’t know what that was. A very rough sketch of some bad Narnia fan fiction, without the Narnia name?
I.. Yeah. It was my first time writing fantasy fiction, and I think I did a pretty decent job, if you ignore Christopher Paolini, who wrote Eragon around the same age as the me who wrote this piece of crap.
I’m not going to analyze my 16 year old self, but I’ve learned a great deal since I was that boy.
I was a strange boy. A quiet loner.
I’m still the same person, only different.

Brand våknet til lyden av hover. De kom nærmere. Han åpnet øynene. Mannskapet! Kapteinen kunne ikke se tegn til mannskapet sitt, men han kunne kjenne lukten av det brennende vraket.
De hadde omringet ham nå. Det var ti av dem. Han synes de så ganske så menneskelige ut, men det var noe ukjent ved dem likevel. Og hestene deres. Eller var det hester? Nei. De virket mer fremmed enn en hest. Kroppene, hodene, beina. De var hester, men likevel ikke.
Rytterne var ikledd rustninger i sterke farger; grønt, blått og fiolett. Både menn og kvinner, så det ut til. De steg ned av hesteskapningene. Brand forsøkte å reise seg, men smerten i beinet ble for mye for ham. De fremmede tok av hjelmene sine, og ansiktene deres kom til syne. Håret, ansiktene, kroppene. Alt ved rytterne virket menneskelig. Men øynene. Øynene hadde farger Brand aldri hadde sett på et menneske. Ørene var for det meste skjult bak langt, bølgete hår, men han syntes å skimte en avlang form, som alvene i eventyrene han ble fortalt som barn.
De knelte foran ham. En av dem, antakelig lederen, begynte å snakke. Brand visste han ikke ville forstå den lokale tunge.
Tross alt, han hadde jo forlist på en fremmed planet. En planet som ikke sto på noe stjernekart han kjente til.

***

Brand, sønn av Ib, er en av karakterene i en foreløpig navnløs historie jeg har begynt så smått på. Et utkast til en del av noe jeg ønsker å videreutvikle.

Den er foreløpig, og kommer antakeligvis til å ende opp, på engelsk, ettersom jeg føler at noen ting er lettere å uttrykke på engelsk.

Jeg valgte å oversette denne delen til norsk, for å se om jeg klarte å uttrykke det på morsmålet mitt.

Jeg er ikke hundre prosent fornøyd, men nå har jeg delt det med deg.

Som en del der ute sikkert har lagt merke til, fikk vi nylig Fanta Lemon tilbake i butikkhyllene, ved hjelp av folkets felles stemme: nemlig Facebook-grupper. Jeg var ikke engang klar over at vi har hatt Fanta med sitronsmak tidligere, men ble positivt overrasket da jeg fant den i butikken i september i år.

Foto: Walter Vos.

Jeg og kjæresten var i Oslo på fredag, og dro innom Brazilia Kebab og Grill (..er det ikke det det heter?) og der spiste vi kebab, drakk Fanta Lemon, og møtte ei venninne.

Kebab er godt, og Fanta Lemon er godt, men Fantaen fikk en helt forferdelig ettersmak på grunn av kebaben. Konklusjon: Ikke prøv det selv. Kebab etterfulgt av Fanta Lemon er absolutt ikke å anbefale.

I jakten på et Creative Commons-lisensiert illustrasjonsbilde, fant jeg diverse forumposter som omhandlet forskjellige prøveprosjekter og forsvunnede smaker i Coca Colas regi. Det viser seg at ganske mange savner en del av dem. Blant de forsvunnede smakene er Vaniljecolaen, Fanta Apple, og Fanta Shokata, eller Fläder, som den heter i Sverige. Shokata smaker hylleblomst og sitron, og etter det jeg kan huske forsvant den for en god stund siden. Den var å finne i Svenske butikker en stund etter at de sluttet å importere fra Tyskland, og jeg merket ikke at den forsvant. Når jeg tenker meg om har jeg ikke sett den på lenge.

Den brusen jeg virkelig savner mest er Fanta med ville bær (også kjent som Wild Berries). Det er en av verdens beste leskedrikker og jeg synes det er synd at den ikke er tilgjengelig i Norge. Jeg kan ikke si jeg har sett den i Sverige de siste årene heller. Får vel melde meg inn i et par Facebook-grupper jeg nå, da.

Hvis du vil overbevise Coca Cola-folkene at vi vil ha Fanta med ville bær kan du klikke her. Vil du ha  Shokata kan du klikke her.

I går satt min kjære og jeg på med søsteren hennes (og tantebarnet på 3? 4?) til Sverige for å handle litt, og da gikk vi selvfølgelig innom GMJ, Sveriges beste (?) DVD og CD-butikk. Det var en god idé! For der fant vi mye rart vi ville ha. Andre sesong av Mad Men på BluRay (til 199 svenske kroner!) Og Love Hina: the Ultimate Collection på DVD til 99 SEK. Definitivt billig. Kjæresten kjøpte andre sesongen av Californication: en annen TV-serie som er å anbefale om du er moden og har humor. Klikk her for å lese litt om hva den handler om. ”Svigersøster” kjøpte en hel masse filmer fordi det var 1 for 45, 10 for 200 (eller noe sånt). Så da fikk vi Saw IV for at hun skulle ha nok. Det setter vi pris på.

Andre ting jeg har fått tak i den siste uka er “How to Take Over teh Wurld: a LOLcat Guide 2 Winning” (med kjente fjes fra ICanHasCheezburger), og tre bøker i Kelley Armstrongs serie “Women of the Otherworld”.

Også har jeg endelig fått første sesong av the Sopranos (etter anbefalinger fra flere kanter), til 59 kroner på Gamestop. Weeeee.

Ooh! forresten var vi innom NeoTokyos nye butikk i Arkaden, og prøvde Melonbrus (æsj!) og Kawaii Ramune (namnam), begge importert fra Japan. Verdt å prøve til tross for prisen.